12 quotes by Robert Benchley

“A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.” — Robert Benchley

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“I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.” — Robert Benchley

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“You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.” — Robert Benchley

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“It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.” — Robert Benchley

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“I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.” — Robert Benchley

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“Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.” — Robert Benchley

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“Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.” — Robert Benchley

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“Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?” — Robert Benchley

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“There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.” — Robert Benchley

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“Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.” — Robert Benchley

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“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” — Robert Benchley

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“In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.” — Robert Benchley

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