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Favorite quotes

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“Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.”— Fran Lebowitz
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“As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.”— Fran Lebowitz
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“Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.”— Fran Lebowitz
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“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.”— Fran Lebowitz
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“Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.”— Fran Lebowitz
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“If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.”— Fran Lebowitz
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“Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.”— Fran Lebowitz
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“Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.”— Fran Lebowitz
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“You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.”— Fran Lebowitz
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“Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.”— Fran Lebowitz