alissa has 50 favorites

“Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.” — David Letterman

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“There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.” — David Letterman

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“There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized.” — Conan O'Brien

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“The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.” — Conan O'Brien

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“Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen.” — Conan O'Brien

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“Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done.” — Burt Reynolds

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“The worst part of success is to try finding someone who is happy for you.” — Bette Midler

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“After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.” — Bette Midler

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“To criticize a person for their race is manifestly irrational and ridiculous, but to criticize their religion, that is a right. That is a freedom.” — Rowan Atkinson

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“Age does not bring you wisdom, age brings you wrinkles.” — Estelle Getty

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