81 quotes by Ambrose Bierce

“What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.” — Ambrose Bierce

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“Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.” — Ambrose Bierce

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