37 quotes by Dave Barry

“It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.” — Dave Barry

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“The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins.” — Dave Barry

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“I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.” — Dave Barry

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“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.” — Dave Barry

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“Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.” — Dave Barry

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“The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.” — Dave Barry

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“Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.” — Dave Barry

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“Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.” — Dave Barry

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“Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.” — Dave Barry

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“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.” — Dave Barry

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“I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.” — Dave Barry

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“The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.” — Dave Barry

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