22 quotes by George Burns

“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”— George Burns

“At my age flowers scare me.”— George Burns

“It only takes one drink to get me drunk. I can just never remember if it's the eighth or ninth.”— George Burns

“Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.”— George Burns

“I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.”— George Burns

“I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.”— George Burns

“I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.”— George Burns

“I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.”— George Burns

“I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.”— George Burns

“I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.”— George Burns

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”— George Burns

“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.”— George Burns

“I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.”— George Burns

“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.”— George Burns

“I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.”— George Burns

“Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.”— George Burns

“Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.”— George Burns

“Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”— George Burns

“I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.”— George Burns

“Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.”— George Burns

“You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.”— George Burns

“If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.”— George Burns