9 quotes by Roseanne Barr

“Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?” — Roseanne Barr

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“As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.” — Roseanne Barr

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“I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job.” — Roseanne Barr

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“My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.” — Roseanne Barr

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“Take this marriage thing seriously - it has to last all the way to the divorce.” — Roseanne Barr

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“A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.” — Roseanne Barr

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“I know how to do anything, I'm a mom.” — Roseanne Barr

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“The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.” — Roseanne Barr

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“Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.” — Roseanne Barr

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