24 quotes by W.C. Fields

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” — W.C. Fields

4 favs

“The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“I like children - fried.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a d--n fool about it.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs

“Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.” — W.C. Fields

0 favs