Author

Woody Allen

40 quotes Popular first.

1 0
“On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down .”— Woody Allen
1 0
“It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.”— Woody Allen
1 0
“I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.”— Woody Allen
1 0
“His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.”— Woody Allen
1 0
“I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.”— Woody Allen
1 0
“The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.”— Woody Allen
1 0
“My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”— Woody Allen
1 0
“If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.”— Woody Allen
1 0
“I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.”— Woody Allen
1 0
“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”— Woody Allen
1 0
“Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.”— Woody Allen
1 0
“It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.”— Woody Allen
1 0
“I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”— Woody Allen
1 0
“Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.”— Woody Allen
1 0
“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”— Woody Allen