alissa has 50 favorites

“You shouldn't be in the music business if you're posing.” — Rod Stewart

2 favs

“There aren't many downsides to being rich, other than paying taxes and having relatives asking for money. But being famous, that's a 24 hour job right there.” — Bill Murray

2 favs

“It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.” — Rodney Dangerfield

1 fav

“I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.” — Rodney Dangerfield

1 fav

“This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.” — Rodney Dangerfield

1 fav

“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.” — Rodney Dangerfield

1 fav

“If it's flipping hamburgers at McDonald's, be the best hamburger flipper in the world. Whatever it is you do you have to master your craft.” — Snoop Dogg

1 fav

“I just make it my business to get along with people so I can have fun. It's that simple.” — Betty White

1 fav

“I think it's your mental attitude. So many of us start dreading age in high school and that's a waste of a lovely life. 'Oh... I'm 30, oh, I'm 40, oh, 50.' Make the most of it.” — Betty White

1 fav

“It's your outlook on life that counts. If you take yourself lightly and don't take yourself too seriously, pretty soon you can find the humor in our everyday lives. And sometimes it can be a lifesaver.” — Betty White

1 fav