22 quotes by George Burns

“At my age flowers scare me.” — George Burns

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“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.” — George Burns

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“It only takes one drink to get me drunk. I can just never remember if it's the eighth or ninth.” — George Burns

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“Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.” — George Burns

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“I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.” — George Burns

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“I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.” — George Burns

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“I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.” — George Burns

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“I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.” — George Burns

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“I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.” — George Burns

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“I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.” — George Burns

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“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” — George Burns

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“When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.” — George Burns

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“I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.” — George Burns

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“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.” — George Burns

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“I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.” — George Burns

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“Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.” — George Burns

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“Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.” — George Burns

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“Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.” — George Burns

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“I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.” — George Burns

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“Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.” — George Burns

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“You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.” — George Burns

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“If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.” — George Burns

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