969 private quotes tagged funny

“I had a very funny family.” — Zach Braff

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“I don't hate humanity and I'm not interested in people who do. Although, it's funny, actually, some of my favorite writers really do. Like Martin Amis. My dirty secret. 'London Fields' is one of my favorite books ever. And it's indefensible! But he's so funny... I forgive him everything.” — Elizabeth Gilbert

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“It's funny: I'm a lifelong musician, but because I principally play the piano it's been a solitary thing.” — Gary Oldman

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“As a writer, or as a filmmaker, you have to present yourself, and part of what yourself is is what you're interested in, or what you think is funny, or what you think is sad, or what you think is horrible.” — Charlie Kaufman

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“What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.” — David Sedaris

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“God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.” — Garrison Keillor

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“It's funny, I can sit through the worst horror film ever made but even a quite good romantic comedy can drive me nuts.” — Jason Reitman

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“I tend to head for what's amusing because a lot of things aren't happy. But usually you can find a funny side to practically anything.” — Maggie Smith

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“People used to be funny about approaching me, but now they seem to think I'm as sane as anyone who's done what I've done in movies can be.” — Philip Seymour Hoffman

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“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” — Reba McEntire

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“Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it's got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can't just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that - it's got to be funny.” — Betty White

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“You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny.” — Steve Irwin

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“Being funny, it turns out, is like being a bank. It's a confidence trick. As long as everyone believes in you, you are fine.” — Evan Davis

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“A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.” — Don Marquis

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“I think there have always been funny women, from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience sees a woman, they innately know she's worked twice as hard to get there, she's had to prove that she can be the leader, first, and then be funny on top of it. She has to emit a confidence that she's in control.” — Wendy Liebman

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“It's funny - if you impersonate somebody, they have no idea it's them.” — Tracey Ullman

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“People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway.” — Tim Vine

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“Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.” — Milton Berle

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“It's not so much what you learn about Mumbai, it's what you learn about yourself, really. It's a funny old hippie thing, but it's true as well. You find out a lot about yourself and your tolerance, and about your inclusiveness.” — Danny Boyle

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“Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.” — Adam Carolla

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“It's funny, when bands or younger musicians ask me: 'So, what does it take to make it?' Well, first explain to me what you mean by 'making it': Do you want to be a rock star or do you want music to be your livelihood?” — Eddie Van Halen

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“It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget.” — Chuck Palahniuk

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“I sometimes lie awake at night trying to think of something funny that Richard Nixon said.” — Lyn Nofziger

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“My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration.” — Mike Myers

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“Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.” — P. J. O'Rourke

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