969 private quotes tagged funny

“Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that.” — Ice Cube

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“But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.” — Charlie Sheen

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“In this world, everyone wants to know everything about you, and I think that's funny.” — Leighton Meester

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“I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing.” — Eddie Izzard

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“I thought I was funny as a kid.” — Jo Brand

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“Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends.” — Eminem

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“The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.” — Jo Brand

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“I'd like to do a film which is funny.” — Clive Owen

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“The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, 'Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.'” — Adam Carolla

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“I had a very funny family.” — Zach Braff

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“I don't hate humanity and I'm not interested in people who do. Although, it's funny, actually, some of my favorite writers really do. Like Martin Amis. My dirty secret. 'London Fields' is one of my favorite books ever. And it's indefensible! But he's so funny... I forgive him everything.” — Elizabeth Gilbert

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“It's funny: I'm a lifelong musician, but because I principally play the piano it's been a solitary thing.” — Gary Oldman

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“As a writer, or as a filmmaker, you have to present yourself, and part of what yourself is is what you're interested in, or what you think is funny, or what you think is sad, or what you think is horrible.” — Charlie Kaufman

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“What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.” — David Sedaris

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“No one ever thought Clint Eastwood was funny, but he was.” — Annie Leibovitz

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“It's funny, I can sit through the worst horror film ever made but even a quite good romantic comedy can drive me nuts.” — Jason Reitman

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“I tend to head for what's amusing because a lot of things aren't happy. But usually you can find a funny side to practically anything.” — Maggie Smith

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“People used to be funny about approaching me, but now they seem to think I'm as sane as anyone who's done what I've done in movies can be.” — Philip Seymour Hoffman

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“It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music.” — Tom Petty

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“Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it's got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can't just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that - it's got to be funny.” — Betty White

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“You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny.” — Steve Irwin

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“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.” — W.C. Fields

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“I always find it kind of embarrassing, kind of funny, and kind of exciting. In New York I'm recognized a lot, although nobody says anything. You know, they stare at you just a second too long. But in Paris it's not as commonplace to be recognized.” — Marc Jacobs

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“Here's the funny thing about the response I've been aware of to my dating famous people: It's been very negative. I'm either not good-looking enough, not a good enough actor or not successful enough for these people.” — Dax Shepard

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“It's funny how most people love the dead, once you're dead your made for life.” — Jimi Hendrix

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