969 private quotes tagged funny

“We've seen some insane signs: 'Is that a loaf of bread in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?' Funny stuff along those lines. Very original. One just said, 'I will do unspeakable things.' I thought that was very interesting - and mildly terrifying!” — Josh Hutcherson

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“Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others' discomfort. When someone slips on a banana skin and falls it's funny.” — Shahrukh Khan

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“Funny is an attitude.” — Flip Wilson

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“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” — Reba McEntire

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“Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.” — Quentin Crisp

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“I watch things that are fun, or funny, or interesting.” — Martha Plimpton

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“I liked getting the best villain award. I thought that was funny.” — Stephen Dorff

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“I'm not funny. People assume that because my books are funny, I'll be funny in real life. It's the inevitable disappointment of meeting me.” — Jonathan Safran Foer

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“At the end of the day it's got to be a good movie, it's got to be a funny movie, and it's got to make people think, 'Hey, I couldn't have spent my time any better.'” — Tom Hanks

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“When you're out of sight for as long as I was, there's a funny feeling of betrayal that comes over people when they see you again.” — Esther Williams

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“Hurried and worried until we're buried, and there's no curtain call, Lifes a very funny proposition after all.” — George M. Cohan

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“The trick is always to write in pairs because if at least two people find it funny, you've immediately halved the odds of it not being funny.” — Steve Coogan

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“It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget.” — Chuck Palahniuk

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“The kind of funny irony is that a lot of people talk about ethical meat eating as if it's a way to care about things, but also not to alienate yourself from the rest of the world. But it's so much more alienating than vegetarianism.” — Jonathan Safran Foer

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“Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.” — Hedy Lamarr

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“People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'” — Al Yankovic

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“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.” — Ellen DeGeneres

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“Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female.” — Jo Brand

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“I have an all-Japanese design team, and none of them speak English. So it's often funny and surprising how my ideas end up lost in translation.” — Pharrell Williams

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“Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that.” — Ice Cube

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“It's funny, I do try to maintain health. I started doing Bikram yoga which is that hothouse yoga, the 105 degrees yoga for 90 minutes. It's great, you purge out all the sweat and you're drinking water.” — Bryan Cranston

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“In this world, everyone wants to know everything about you, and I think that's funny.” — Leighton Meester

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“It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics, that action and reaction are equal and opposite, that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger.” — Gertrude Stein

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“I thought I was funny as a kid.” — Jo Brand

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“It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.” — Bill Hicks

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