969 private quotes tagged funny

“God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.” — Garrison Keillor

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“Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.” — P. J. O'Rourke

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“It's funny now how much we look at - whatever you want to call it: art, design, culture stuff, film - online, and how in the online world, you're instantly global.” — Mike Mills

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“Funny is an attitude.” — Flip Wilson

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“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” — Reba McEntire

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“It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget.” — Chuck Palahniuk

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“Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.” — Hedy Lamarr

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“People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'” — Al Yankovic

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“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.” — Ellen DeGeneres

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“I have an all-Japanese design team, and none of them speak English. So it's often funny and surprising how my ideas end up lost in translation.” — Pharrell Williams

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“I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.” — Stephen King

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“I'm blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I'm sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I'm nice - and I like to eat.” — Paris Hilton

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“There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off.” — Doug Coupland

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“I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny.” — Martin Short

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“You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am.” — Rush Limbaugh

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“It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing.” — Zora Neale Hurston

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“The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.” — Billy Corgan

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“There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.” — Jean Baudrillard

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“A funny thing happens in real estate. When it comes back, it comes back up like gangbusters.” — Barbara Corcoran

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“In my circle of friends, I've always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don't want the spotlight on me.” — Rosie Perez

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“Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.” — Steve Martin

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“I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers.” — Steve Martin

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“I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.” — Jerry Seinfeld

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“I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell?” — Andy Warhol

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“It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics, that action and reaction are equal and opposite, that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger.” — Gertrude Stein

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