969 private quotes tagged funny

“There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off.” — Doug Coupland

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“All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.” — Casey Stengel

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“I have this horrible sense of humor where I think discomfort is funny - partly because I experience discomfort a lot, and it's a way of laughing at it and getting a release.” — Joaquin Phoenix

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“I could party in a cardboard box with people who are funny and don't care. For me, it's really about who I surround myself with, so I just try to always be with hilarious people.” — Kesha

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“It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals.” — Craig Bruce

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“No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you, that it's about the people who are nominated, and respect that, but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are.” — Ellen DeGeneres

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“I'm blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I'm sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I'm nice - and I like to eat.” — Paris Hilton

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“Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings.” — Ellen DeGeneres

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“I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.” — Stephen King

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“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” — Jim Carrey

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“God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.” — Garrison Keillor

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“As soon as you are trying to be funny or dramatic, that's when things start feeling fake and boring.” — Joseph Gordon-Levitt

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“It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.” — Adlai E. Stevenson

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“Do I have a long-term plan? Kind of. I have a general direction, I think. But it's funny what comes down the pike.” — Jeff Bridges

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“It's funny what a few no-hitters do for a body.” — Satchel Paige

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“It's funny recently I've started to notice people's impersonations of me, and it's basically like a hyperactive child.” — Dave Grohl

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“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.” — Reba McEntire

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“Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world - and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I'd like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy - a mixture of the two would be hot.” — Justin Bieber

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“A good artist is willing to die many times over. What's funny is, I've died so many times.” — Billy Corgan

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“I wear black skinny-fit jeans - I can't get away from them. It's funny because I wore baggy jeans for ages, then one day my friend convinced me to try on a skinny pair and I thought they were great.” — Shaun White

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“A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.” — Don Marquis

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“Chris Hemsworth is like Christopher Reeve in that he can do two things: he can wear a big red cape without a shred of self-consciousness. But he's also funny as hell, and he's so sweet. So with all the fish-out-of-water stuff, he's so funny. So he does almost two jobs in a way.” — Tom Hiddleston

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“Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.” — Milton Berle

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“You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things.” — Ken Kesey

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“It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget.” — Chuck Palahniuk

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