969 private quotes tagged funny

“I was so afraid to even read a paper in front of my classmates. It is very funny because at that point my teachers would never have believed that I could speak in front of an audience of over 2,000 people.” — Petra Nemcova

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“It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life.” — Jimi Hendrix

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“A good artist is willing to die many times over. What's funny is, I've died so many times.” — Billy Corgan

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“I wear black skinny-fit jeans - I can't get away from them. It's funny because I wore baggy jeans for ages, then one day my friend convinced me to try on a skinny pair and I thought they were great.” — Shaun White

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“What's funny is that the idea of popularity - even the use of the word 'popular' - is something that had been mostly absent from my life since junior high. In fact, the hallmark of life after junior high seemed to be the shedding of popularity as a central concern.” — Susan Orlean

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“Chris Hemsworth is like Christopher Reeve in that he can do two things: he can wear a big red cape without a shred of self-consciousness. But he's also funny as hell, and he's so sweet. So with all the fish-out-of-water stuff, he's so funny. So he does almost two jobs in a way.” — Tom Hiddleston

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“I'm smart and I can be really funny and interesting and I can go toe-to-toe with anybody in a conversation.” — Megan Fox

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“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.” — Frank Sinatra

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“I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.” — Calvin Trillin

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“I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully.” — Jo Brand

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“Hemingway seems to be in a funny position. People nowadays can't identify with him closely as a member of their own generation, and he isn't yet historical.” — Leslie Fiedler

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“I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill.” — Charlie Sheen

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“You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it - you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyone's doing a certain thing... It's tough.” — Eminem

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“Life is hard. After all, it kills you.” — Katharine Hepburn

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“The funny thing is I'm not bothered or sad about being on my own - after all I've never had a husband.” — Francesca Annis

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“But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.” — Charlie Sheen

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“I was the little, funny one. I felt I was the child among grown women.” — Julie Walters

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“Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends.” — Eminem

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“I love readings and my readers, but the din of voices of the audience gives me stage fright, and the din of voices inside whisper that I am a fraud, and that the jig is up. Surely someone will rise up from the audience and say out loud that not only am I not funny and helpful, but I'm annoying, and a phony.” — Anne Lamott

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“I was a hop-around. I hung out with the rockabilly crew, the guys who were trying to be rappers, the funny kids.” — Katy Perry

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“I wanted to be that quirky girl who writes funny songs that still have meaning.” — Katy Perry

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“It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to.” — J. D. Salinger

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“Don't remember me as too nice or beautiful or funny, because then you'll be disappointed.” — Celia Johnson

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“I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.” — W.C. Fields

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“Here's the funny thing about the response I've been aware of to my dating famous people: It's been very negative. I'm either not good-looking enough, not a good enough actor or not successful enough for these people.” — Dax Shepard

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