969 private quotes tagged funny

“Hollywood's just not funny.” — Chris Rock

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“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” — Don Marquis

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“I knew exactly what to do on Alien, it was funny.” — Ridley Scott

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“It's funny how intimate it feels to get a text.” — Sophie Ellis-Bextor

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“Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.” — Laurence J. Peter

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“Literature has drawn a funny perimeter that other art forms haven't.” — Jonathan Safran Foer

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“Funny is an attitude.” — Flip Wilson

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“I know what Germans are. They are a funny people. They are always choosing someone to lead them in a direction which they do not want to go.” — Gertrude Stein

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“It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals.” — Craig Bruce

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“You know what's funny to me? Attitude.” — Don Rickles

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“It's funny when people say, 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey, if I don't like you, you're going to know about it.” — Julia Roberts

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“Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.” — Chris Rock

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“If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?” — Lily Tomlin

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“All men are equal before fish.” — Herbert Hoover

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“Keep your sense of humor, my friend if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny anymore.” — Wavy Gravy

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“I didn't grow up identifying with beauty. I grew up thinking I could be smart and funny - those are the things I got feedback on.” — Lauren Graham

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“It's a funny thing about life if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.” — W. Somerset Maugham

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“Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage.” — Stevie Wonder

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“Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.” — Phyllis Diller

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“The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.” — David Ogilvy

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“I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers.” — Steve Martin

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“The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny.” — J. K. Rowling

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“If you play it straight it's funny - the best comedy is always played straight down the middle. The adjustment is understanding from the screenplay that a moment is hilarious.” — Tom Hiddleston

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“The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.” — Arthur C. Clarke

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“Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke.” — John Krasinski

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