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“Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president.”
— Eleanor Roosevelt
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“Most people have no concept of how an automatic transmission works, yet they know how to drive a car. You don't have to study physics to understand the laws of motion to drive a car. You don't have to understand any of this stuff to use Macintosh.”
— Steve Jobs
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“A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.”
— Theodore Roosevelt
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“What Englishman will give his mind to politics as long as he can afford to keep a motor car?”
— George Bernard Shaw
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“I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.”
— Steven Wright
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“I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.”
— Steven Wright
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“I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.”
— Steven Wright
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“I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.”
— Steven Wright
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“The most important loan to pay is your student loan. It's more important than your mortgage, car and credit card payments. You cannot discharge student loan debt in the majority of cases.”
— Suze Orman
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“I think I'm actually quite a materialistic person, I value what it takes to make a car or build a nice house. Money does change things, but how it changes people depends on how they react to it.”
— Roland Gift
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“If you are a writer you locate yourself behind a wall of silence and no matter what you are doing, driving a car or walking or doing housework you can still be writing, because you have that space.”
— Joyce Carol Oates
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“The culture is going into a psychological depression. We are concerned about our place in the world, about being competitive: Will my children have as much as I have? Will I ever own my own home? How can I pay for a new car? Are immigrants taking away my white world?”
— James Hillman
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“I grew up where my parents would literally shove me in the car rather than have to say hello to a neighbor.”
— Amy Sherman-Palladino
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“I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.”
— Dave Barry
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“If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG.”
— Bill Gates
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“Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating the mind; it's like a car battery - it recharges by running.”
— Bill Watterson
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“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.”
— Dave Barry
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“Design can never be an ultimate explanation for anything. It can only be a proximate explanation. A plane or a car is explained by a designer but that's because the designer himself, the engineer, is explained by natural selection.”
— Richard Dawkins
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“My mother was determined to make us independent. When I was four years old, she stopped the car a few miles from our house and made me find my own way home across the fields. I got hopelessly lost.”
— Richard Branson
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“The car has become the carapace, the protective and aggressive shell, of urban and suburban man.”
— Marshall McLuhan
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“The greatest pleasure when I started making money was not buying cars or yachts but finding myself able to have as many freshly typed drafts as possible.”
— Gore Vidal
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“Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.”
— Dave Barry
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“I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.”
— Steven Wright
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“I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.”
— Woody Allen
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“America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.”
— Hunter S. Thompson
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