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“Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president.”
— Eleanor Roosevelt
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“Most people have no concept of how an automatic transmission works, yet they know how to drive a car. You don't have to study physics to understand the laws of motion to drive a car. You don't have to understand any of this stuff to use Macintosh.”
— Steve Jobs
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“A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.”
— Theodore Roosevelt
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“I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.”
— Steven Wright
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“What Englishman will give his mind to politics as long as he can afford to keep a motor car?”
— George Bernard Shaw
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“I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.”
— Steven Wright
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“I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.”
— Steven Wright
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“I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.”
— Steven Wright
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“The culture is going into a psychological depression. We are concerned about our place in the world, about being competitive: Will my children have as much as I have? Will I ever own my own home? How can I pay for a new car? Are immigrants taking away my white world?”
— James Hillman
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“The most important loan to pay is your student loan. It's more important than your mortgage, car and credit card payments. You cannot discharge student loan debt in the majority of cases.”
— Suze Orman
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“If you are a writer you locate yourself behind a wall of silence and no matter what you are doing, driving a car or walking or doing housework you can still be writing, because you have that space.”
— Joyce Carol Oates
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“I grew up where my parents would literally shove me in the car rather than have to say hello to a neighbor.”
— Amy Sherman-Palladino
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“Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating the mind; it's like a car battery - it recharges by running.”
— Bill Watterson
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“Design can never be an ultimate explanation for anything. It can only be a proximate explanation. A plane or a car is explained by a designer but that's because the designer himself, the engineer, is explained by natural selection.”
— Richard Dawkins
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“My mother was determined to make us independent. When I was four years old, she stopped the car a few miles from our house and made me find my own way home across the fields. I got hopelessly lost.”
— Richard Branson
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“I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.”
— Steven Wright
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“I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.”
— Dave Barry
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“Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.”
— Dave Barry
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“The greatest pleasure when I started making money was not buying cars or yachts but finding myself able to have as many freshly typed drafts as possible.”
— Gore Vidal
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“If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG.”
— Bill Gates
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“I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.”
— Steven Wright
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“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.”
— Dave Barry
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“Life is a gamble. You can get hurt, but people die in plane crashes, lose their arms and legs in car accidents people die every day. Same with fighters: some die, some get hurt, some go on. You just don't let yourself believe it will happen to you.”
— Muhammad Ali
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“My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.”
— Rodney Dangerfield
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“Mass transportation is doomed to failure in North America because a person's car is the only place where he can be alone and think.”
— Marshall McLuhan
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